The Egg's Prophecy
by SkyVoyagers
Summary: A mysterious egg suddenly crashes to Earth, and it's destined to save the clans. "The prophecy: an egg alone can save our clan…" "I thought it was about Firestar: fire alone can save our clan." "No. Screw Firestar." WARNING: TROLL-FIC – JUST FOR FUN (includes Bluestar throwing tantrums over a golden fudge cake)
1. Chapter 1: The Egg

**I was bored, alright? So I wrote this. Feel free to flame or do anything you'd like. This won't be the only chapter, though. It'll be, like, 3 chapters or something. But again, I'm not serious. This was just for fun. **

**Warning: very OOC, and includes Bluestar throwing tantrums for a golden fudge cake. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors but I do own ma OCs! ;P**

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One night, there was suddenly a tremendously bright pillar of light that shot straight up into StarClan and lit up the whole sky. The StarClan cats were baffled at this unusual phenomenon.

"Oh my, what is that?" Spottedleaf asked, her eyes wide in shock and wonder.

"Look!" Bluestar, beside her, gestured with her blue-grey tail down below. "There's an egg!"

There was indeed an egg. A very large egg about the size of a mountain. It was pure white, as white as the freshest snow, and had golden sparkles circling around it.

"Is this the egg from the prophecy?" Spottedleaf whispered in awe.

"What prophecy?" Bluestar asked hurriedly, impatient. "And where in Silverpelt could StarClan cats get prophecies?"

"I got a message from… ClanStar," Spottedleaf murmured mysteriously, dropping her voice so only Bluestar could hear.

"ClanStar?" Bluestar's deep blue eyes widened in wonder and curiosity.

"Yes," Spottedleaf answered in a very serious tone. "Few cats know about it, but there is indeed a group of cats known as ClanStar." She brightened up and her tone was cheery now. "In fact, they live right above us!"

Bluestar and Spottedleaf both looked up, and they saw an elevator lowering itself from a blanket of rainbow-colored clouds above. A purple tomcat with a mustache, his fur glistening in the moonlight, stepped out from the elevator.

"Purplefur," Spottedleaf gasped, immediately bowing down in respect. Bluestar did too.

"Hello," Purplefur greeted in a deep Italian accent.

"We saw a huge egg, Purplefur!" Spottedleaf exclaimed. "It was white and held golden sparkles. It was the one you told us about in the prophecy!"

"Indeed." Purplefur nodded. "_An egg alone can save our clan._"

"Wait!" Bluestar protested. "I thought the prophecy was: _fire alone can save our clan. _Wasn't it about a cat who'll become leader later on and be named Firestar?"

"No. Screw Firestar," Purplefur spat. "Watch the egg. There will be a surprising and shocking result."

"What is it?" Spottedleaf and Bluestar asked simultaneously with burning curiosity.

Purplefur fell silent for a few seconds, as if thinking hard. Then he shrugged.

"I dunno."

Suddenly, cracks started to appear on the large sparkling egg. Every crack glowed intensely and sent a blinding beam of light straight into Bluestar, Spottedleaf, and Purplefur's eyes. Bluestar and Spottedleaf went blind from the pure amazingness of the egg cracking.

Spottedleaf started running around in circles but she couldn't see, so she fell out of the clouds of StarClan and crashed into the ground, then died. Again.

Bluestar started furiously waving her paws around, trying to find Purplefur.

"PURPLEFUR!" she shrieked. "SPOTTEDLEAF!"

Then one of her paws accidentally thwacked Purplefur across the face.

"OW!" Purplefur yowled. "My beautiful face!"

"Help! I can't see!" Bluestar continued screaming. "Wait, can you see?"

"Yes."

"How come I got blinded and you didn't?!"

"I had ma special sunglasses especially made to protect one's eyes from blinding beams of an egg cracking," Purplefur explained calmly.

"Meh."

Purplefur sighed and padded over to the end of a rainbow and reached into a pot that a unicorn gave him. He collected something in his paws and walked back to Bluestar. Then he dumped it over Bluestar's head. They were magical sprinkles.

"These are magical sprinkles that will help you regain your eyesight so you can watch the egg hatch," Purplefur told her. And amazingly, Bluestar blinked, and she could see again!

"Now watch!" Purplefur pointed to the egg.

The cracks got bigger and bigger and wider and wider… but suddenly, just before it fully cracked, the cracks stopped cracking.

"Why did it stop cracking?" asked Bluestar angrily.

"It's sad," Purplefur observed. "We need to sing to it. Then it'll crack and reveal what's inside."

So they sang to the egg.

After a few songs, the cracks began widening again, and the egg started vibrating. Bluestar and Purplefur watched in anticipation. But then it stopped again.

"WTF." Bluestar face-pawed. "This'll never work."

"It's hungry now," Purplefur said. "Do you still have that golden fudge cake Lionheart gave to you a few sunrises ago?"

Bluestar pulled a giant golden fudge cake out from her pelt pocket. "Yes, but…" Bluestar hesitated.

"Feed it to the egg."

"N-no."

"Feed it to the egg!"

"No! That fudge cake is the one thing I loved that my mother didn't eat!"

"FEED IT TO THE FRICKIN' EGG!"

Purplefur got mad and pushed the golden fudge cake down. It fell from the clouds just like Spottedleaf did earlier and landed beside the egg without a dent. The egg looked at the fudge cake and swallowed it after a few seconds.

"Now it should continue!" Purplefur exclaimed happily.

"You're paying me $50.95 for that!" Bluestar threw a tantrum. She calmed down after Purplefur told her he'd buy her another one. Then she stared at the egg intently with a mix of impatience, desperation, and anger.

The sparkling egg started wobbling around. One final crack sliced it open, and another blinding beam of light shot out. Luckily, Bluestar had used her super speed and hurried to the sunglass store when everyone wasn't looking, and bought a pair of special sunglasses used to protect one's eyes from the blinding beams of an egg cracking.

The egg's shells fell to the ground and revealed what's inside. It was glowing golden. Bluestar and Purplefur gasped and stretched their necks, standing on their tip-toes on the edge of the clouds, straining to see what was inside, and suddenly, they caught a glimpse of it.

It was another egg.

Bluestar's eye twitched.

"SCREW THIS EGG!"


	2. Chapter 2: To ThunderClan

**Why would anyone bother to read this…? BUT THANK YOU IF YOU DID! :D Honestly, I didn't even think anyone would, because it's just a bunch of random thoughts I had and I wrote it out of boredom. But oh well! I'm actually happy people actually wanna read this stuff. Ha.**

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"IT'S ANOTHER EGG!" yelled Bluestar at the top of her lungs as she ran around in circles. "ANOTHER FREAKING EGG!"

"Calm down, Bluestar!" Purplefur shrieked, but the blue-grey she-cat's loud yelling drowned out his voice. Suddenly, he saw a rainbow streak by in the night sky.

"Behold!" he exclaimed, pointing. Bluestar halted and followed his paw to see something. Something that seemed pink and grey.

"What is that?" Bluestar whispered, her blue eyes widened in amazement.

"That, Bluestar, is what we call a 'Nyan Cat'," Purplefur explained. "It's made of a cookie and it poops out rainbows."

"Amazing…" Bluestar breathed in awe.

"Here it comes now." Purplefur stretched out his paw as the Nyan Cat hovered by his head and dropped a letter into his paws. Then it flew away, a rainbow coming out of its butt.

Bluestar watched in wonder. "Such beauty," she sniffled, wiping away some tears.

Meanwhile, Purplefur tried to open the letter, but was failing miserably.

Bluestar groaned impatiently. She used her super speed again and sped to the hammer store and bought a huge hammer. She aimed it at the egg.

"No!" Purplefur shrieked. "If you use the hammer, whatever's inside that egg might–"

_WHAM!_

"I hate you."

Bluestar put on an innocent grin and gestured to the smaller egg inside the original mountain-sized one. "Look, it cracked!"

"It better not be another egg," muttered Purplefur.

And it wasn't. They strained to catch a glimpse of what was inside.

It was a kit.

"What the hairballs?" Bluestar muttered. "All that work and we get… _that_?"

"No, no," Purplefur cut in. "That she-kit is magical. Let's go down to greet her."

"WHAT?!" Bluestar exclaimed. "We could've gone down all this time? Why were we up here then?!"

Purplefur shrugged. "Nice view?"

So they flew down with their jetpacks on their backs. Purplefur landed safely beside the cracked egg while Bluestar started losing control and spinning around in the sky, until she finally exploded and became an array of bright fireworks.

"Ooh… Ahh…" some random crowd from no apparent location chorused.

Purplefur looked at the kit. No, she was definitely not a normal kit. Her fur was as white as the egg (and if you don't remember, the egg was pretty white), and golden sparkles always surrounded her no matter what she did. Her eyes were the most beautiful shade of emerald and she had a perfect figure even though she was only a kit and everything about her was so beautiful and amazing that she literally started shining.

"MY EYES!" Purplefur screeched. "She's too shiny and amazing! My special sunglasses couldn't protect me!"

The she-kit blinked and multiple rainbows appeared in the sky, and the night turned to a sunny daytime. Golden glitter landed everywhere and then she grew wings.

"I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!" she started singing loudly for the world to hear.

Purplefur muttered something and sat up. There were two holes where his eyes used to be. Now they got burned by the light of pure amazingness. So he went to the eye store and got two new eyes, then returned in the nick of time.

The she-kit started flying around and soaring in the clear blue sky. Purplefur started to protest, but his mustache suddenly started flapping and flew off his face, then joined the kit in the air.

"No!" he yelled in his Italian accent. "My beautiful mustachio!"

_Will this kit really save the clans? _Purplefur wondered. _Well, she is obviously far too big a job for me to handle, so I'm sending her to the strongest of the clans, ThunderClan!_

"Come on down, kit!" Purplefur commanded. She made a perfect landing down at Purplefur's paws.

"Now, I shall name you Eggkit, to resemble the egg you were born from," Purplefur declared in a very serious tone, standing with his chest puffed out and gazing down at the white she-kit. "You shall fly to ThunderClan and become a member there."

So Eggkit flew gracefully toward the direction of ThunderClan, spewing out the most incredible and dazzling rainbows that knocked unicorns with a punch to the face as she went.

She arrived at ThunderClan, and stood proudly in the center of the camp. She started glowing and the light she emitted was so incredibly bright, that the sun felt defeated and retired early and gave the job over to her. So she signed some papers that meant she agreed to take the job and then continued to glow.

"Who is that?" Lionblaze whispered. "She's… She's glowing so bright!"

"My eyes!" Jayfeather screamed. "I can't even see and she's burning my eyes!"

"Let's invite her to join the clan immediately!" Dovewing announced. The other cats all cheered in agreement.

Suddenly sunglasses rained down from ClanStar and fell to ThunderClan's grounds. The cats all picked up their own and wore them to protect their eyes.

"I LOOK SWAG!" Lionblaze exclaimed, examining himself in a little mirror he brought everywhere and doing poses with his shades.

All of a sudden, a tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat comes bounding to ThunderClan's camp.

"Cats and kittens!" she announced. "I have received a message from StarClan even though I am not a medicine cat! They have told me there will be an attack on our clan soon!"

All of ThunderClan went into hysterics.

"Do not fear!" Eggkit declared firmly. "I will save you from any danger that comes!"

"BubblegumClan is raiding!" Squirrelflight yelled.

Every cat started arming themselves with their missiles and guns and tanks, and one cat dragged in a nuclear bomb, but Eggkit stood before all of them. She watched as BubblegumClan—the strongest evil clan in the whole stinkin' kitty universe—started getting closer and closer, yowling and swiping at the air with unsheathed claws.

"I will defeat them!" yowled Eggkit. She let out a blinding beam of light from her eyes and they hit the BubblegumClan cats directly. They all went blind and Eggkit commanded for an army of Nyan Cats to attack. The Nyan Cats dropped down from the sky and started attacking BubblegumClan with their rainbows. Then Eggkit waved a paw and the Nyan Cats retreated. BubblegumClan was defeated.

"Omigosh!" Ivypool squealed. "She's so strong! I wanna be her!"

All the cats started crowding around Eggkit. The she-cats all wanted to be her or be friends with her, and held extreme admiration and some jealousy, but continued to love her anyway just because she was that amazing.

"What is your name?" Cinderheart bowed down to Eggkit and asked.

"My name is Eggkit," the pure white she-kit answered, standing tall. Cinderheart fainted from pure awesomeness.

"Eggkit," Squirrelflight began, "since Firestar's now dead and I am not leader yet, even though I should've been since I am deputy, I hope that you can be kind enough to take my future place as leader."

"I will! Why, thank you!" Eggkit held a paw to her heart.

Silver and golden lines swirled down to her and wrapped her in a heavenly glow. She was lifted up into the air and when she came down, she was granted 900,000,000 lives purely for being so awesome.

"This is such an amazing experience!" Eggkit—now Eggstar—bounced up and down.

Every time she walked forward a pace, the ground beneath her turned into diamond. Everything she touched turned into diamond, and they all used the diamond to buy lifetime amounts of golden fudge cakes.

"Eggkit!" a tom called.

Rosepetal gasped. "How dare you address her by 'Eggkit'! She is now the leader of ThunderClan and she is Eggstar!"

"Yeah!" Squirrelflight agreed. "As deputy, I banish you from the clan for being so extremely rude to our dear Eggstar!"

She kicked him and he flew into the sky, yelling, "I'm blasting off again!" Then he disappeared with a twinkle in the sky.

"Eggstar, I love you! Will you be my mate?" a tom called from the crowd of cats gathering around Eggstar, who was still a kit.

"No! I love her more!" another tom argued. "She should be my mate!"

"No, she's mine!"

"She's mine!"

"No, mine!"

And all the toms started fighting over her.

Then Puss in Boots just came out of nowhere and flew down on his golden pegasus. He was carrying a sword in a heroic pose.

"Eggstar is mine and we shall fly off into the sunset together!" he announced. Eggstar happily agreed and rode her own unicorn with him and together, they flew off into the sky.

And if you looked closely enough, you could see a mustache flying in the sky, while someone with an Italian accent somewhere kept screaming, "My beautiful mustachio!"

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**O_o What the heck did I just write? **

**Well, like it or hate it, this won't be the last chapter. There will probably be one more. It's very random and doesn't connect at all but that's just the point! :D**


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